Keep A Low Profile On The Job

123rf.com Stock photos

Having worked for most of my life, I have made many observations.  One conclusion I have come to  is emotional displays in the workplace can sabotage your career.

I am convinced that employees who are whinny and troublesome are not the stand-outs for the next promotion. In fact, it is likely they won't be on the payroll next year.

I also don't believe that employees that have a tenure with a company are necessarily the most creative, or most talented.  However, these employees have an uncanny ability to conduct themselves professionally.

 How well you adapt and fit in with your colleagues can also make or break you.  Strong leadership skills, and being able to divorce yourself from personal issues are coveted traits in the corporate world.

 One of my co-workers a long time ago gave me wonderful advise on how to conduct myself on weekly conference calls:  "Try to be invisible".  The point is, getting on your supervisor's radar may not be the best idea.  Listening skills go a long way.

I have worked in businesses where I have observed people that are tougher than nails.  These employees  are direct and focused. They crack the whip, are great with details, and get the job done.  They are far too clever to let their emotional guard down at work.

Emotional displays can put you at risk.   Particularly to other ambitious employees that may want your job.  I found this piece of interest:  Use Your Jealously, Anxiety and Frustration To Motivate You At Work.
While it is not healthy to bottle emotions, the workplace is not a place to expose them.  We are all human, and, as such, have good and bad days.

One of the mistakes I am guilty of is believing my co-workers are friends.  No one is my friend at work.  If it comes right down to it, any one of my co-workers will throw me under the bus of if their job is in jeopardy.  Trouble is, I have a hard time believing this.

It is easy to get comfortable on the job.  After all, we spend more time with co-workers than with family. Personally, it is hard for me to make small talk.  But that is exactly the only type of talk I should engage in at work.

Employers don't appreciate personal problems brought to the job. The key is not to give anybody any ammunition that would compromise your career.

Above all: be your own counsel.  Unless, of course, you have specific job-related issues to discuss with your supervisor.

So, as I head back to my desk, I repeat to myself: " I will not discuss my date last night, I will not discuss my date last night, I will not discuss my date last night".

Cruise Lines Need to Beef Up Emergency Training

I have always loved being on a cruise.  To me, it is the ultimate in complete relaxation.  I don't have an phobias about being out at sea, or getting sea sick.

Lately, I have become skeptical about the safety in cruising.  Especially after reading this:Carnival Cruise Sued for "Party Atmosphere" That Allegedly Led to Woman's Death

First the Costa Cruise Line capsizes because of an out-to-lunch captain, who ran his ship aground because he was distracted by his mistress.  Now, Carnival Cruise Lines is being sued because an intoxicated woman slices her wrist on glass and bleeds to death.

Both incidents' make me nervous.  While they are rate instances, both point to staff that is clueless.  The lawsuit filed by the family of the woman that died on the Carnival cruise, alleges the staff was not trained to deal with this emergency.  The woman bled out, and suffered a coronary after being taken to the ship's infirmary.

In the Costa Cruise Line incident, poor leadership and procedures led to the death of  28 of its' more than 4,200 passengers.  Four passengers' are still unaccounted: for :More Bodies Found On Costa Cruise Ship.

I don't have that warm an cozy feeling about safety and cruising anymore.  To me, it was like being inside a womb, safe, with every comfort imaginable.  The reality is, with the construction of monster ships, safety has not been properly addressed.

The reality is every passenger is responsible for himself.  It is clear that passengers' cannot expect to rely on the expertise of cruise staff or even the captain.

I would like to hear or read that cruise lines are seriously addressing this issue.  It would be comforting to learn that one of companies has initiated intensive training and on going drills to prepare for emergencies.

The fact is, these events would not stop me from taking a cruise.  But you can bet that I will prepare myself by checking out the life boats and become familiar with the ship should I make this venture.

Can You Have Children and Career?

Ahikam Seri/Bloomberg via Getty Images

I certainly wasn't one of the world's most powerful women, however;  I was a single mom trying to keep my head above water. My children were 2 and 4 when I divorced, and I had to have a game plan to keep my job and be able to have round the clock child care.

I was fortunate that I lived in Miami Beach, Florida.  During the time my children were young, in the 1980's; there was a continual influx of hispanics from Central and South America.  I decided to place an ad in Diario Las Americas, Miami's spanish newspaper, to look for live-in help.

I didn't feel comfortable dropping my children off at a day-care center.  Moreover, when I traveled, I had no one that could care for them.  The side benefit was that my children would learn Spanish as a second language.

Although, like the women mentioned in this article World's 20 Most Powerful Mom's;  I was able to join my children for dinner each evening - I felt guilty that I missed being home to raise them myself.

Katharine Hepburn once remarked that  you can't have a career and children.

There is a great deal of wisdom in that comment.

Women today have children and careers.  It is a fine juggling act.  Many of the women that have careers can't  run home when their children need them.  I don't know how they feel about leaving their care and rearing to someone else.

My relationship with my children is not the best.  Every now and then, they will comment on my career, and the "nannies" that were there when I was away.  I blame much of the problems I have with them on making this decision.

I think they lost respect for me as a mother.  While they never admitted this to me, I believe they felt cheated.

My daughter is not married, and has a professional career..  I am curious to see how she will manage her child care, if she chooses to have children.  If I were living where she resides, I certainly would want to help her out.

 I didn't have any family to step in and assist.  I do believe that if family can help, it makes all the difference in raising children.  That way, the child still feels connected to the mother.

Funny how history repeats itself, as I was also raised my a nanny.  She was an incredible Peruvian woman, who was closer to me than my mother, as  my mother traveled frequently.

I grew up with a hole in my heart, yearning for parents' and family that I didn't have.

If I had to do it over again, I honestly don't know what I would do.  It is tempting to take the short cut, be selfish and opt for both career and family.

Personal experience tells me it can be heartbreaking for the child.

A Dog's Enduring Love

Hachiko, courtesy Wikipedia

I spent the weekend crying. It was a bittersweet experience. I had watched the television story " Hachi :" A Dog's Tale. It ripped my heart out.

You have heard many incredible dog stories about loyalty. This one, is the original dog loyalty story. It dates back to 1924, when Professor Hidesamuro Ueno brought Hachiko, an Akita puppy to Tokyo . 

The pup used to stand by the door of his home to see him off each morning. At 4:00 pm in the afternoon, Hachiko waited for his beloved owner at the train station. One day, the Professor did not get off the train. That did not stop Hachiko, as this faithful dog continued to return to the station at precisely the same time, every day, until his death 9 years later in 1934. 

Ueno had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and died in the hospital. The dog was given to relatives who lived far from the train station. However, Hachiko continually escaped to going back to the same site to wait for the Professor. 

I cannot think of any human this loyal. My love for dogs' goes way back to my earliest memories. I can remember watching Lassie Come Home and bawling my eyes out. 

Perhaps my pain comes from the fact that I longed for the true love this dog gave to his master. Having absentee parents, the emptiness is so deep that it stays with me - to watch this film was like adding salt to an open wound. 

Animals, like Hachiko,, teach us about life. The show us loyalty without boundaries. .Loyal dogs, like Hachiko diie every day for their masters'. There are stories about pets standing guard at their owners' graves - refusing to eat or leave. 

I had a German Shepherd that I had to put down. She suffered from cancer, she became so ill that she could barely lift her head. My faithful love, stared at me until she could no longer keep her eyes open.


Gretel was probably cut from the same grain as Hachiko . She was a fierce body guard, She used to pace room- to- room looking in on the children. She was always "on duty" and forever devoted to the family. 

I keep telling myself I will not buy another pet, because it is too painful to lose them. Yet, I cannot imagine life without the true love and devotion of a dog. It frightens me that some day, in the not too distant future, I will not be able to care for another pet.

I pray that this day never comes. 

I am eternally grateful for this God-given gift. Dogs are a treasure.They are worth more than any amount of money. The bond I have with them is stronger than any human friendship.

I know that they love me too, I only need to gaze into their eyes to see how much.

A Dog's Enduring Love: Part Two

Angell Animal Medical Center 

I want to share some positive information with you for a change about Pit Bull dogs.  This is another example of   how much a dog can love you :Brave Pit Bull Saves Woman From Train

I had just semi- recovered from watching the Hachi:  A Dog's Tale.  When I first saw the article, I thought, oh, no, I can't go through this emotional roller coaster again- but I caved and read the story.

Precious Lilly, is an 8 year old Pit Bull,  adopted as a service dog for Christine Spain.  Her son, police officer David Lanteigne,  adopted her  from Boston Dog Rescue.  Lillly was brought home to look after Christine, an alcoholic.  

Christine had passed out on train tracks with a train bearing down on her.  Lilly wasted no time in throwing herself in front of the train, pulling Christine to safety.

When the conductor tried to stop, he was unable.  He had thought he had hit Christine, but later discovered she was pulled off the tracks.  Sadly, Lilly was dragged along with train, and had suffered severe pelvic injuries, and one of her legs had to be amputated.

I think Christine owes Lilly.  More than just giving her love and affection, she needs to give up drinking for good.    After all, had Christine not been drinking, this terrible accident wouldn't have happened.

I understand this is easier said, than done.  If this is not enough motivation for this woman, I can't think of anything else that will be.

What this dog has done is just remarkable.  For once, we have some good news about the Pit Bull dog.

I have come in contact with a couple of Pit Bull dogs.  They were both friendly and calm.  I realize they can be treacherous, but I believe their training and breeding play a huge part in their temperament.

Dogs are no different than humans.  If abused, they will grow to be abusers.  With love and training, a Pit Bull is capable of undying devotion.

Along with Hatchiko, war dogs , and our pets';  man's best friend demonstrates his undying love for his master.

It is no mistake she ended up being treated at Angell Animal Medical Center.

There is no question she is Christine's guardian angel.

The Haircut- Vidal Sassoon London

The sixties were fun times.  So many changes were evolving.  Women were liberated by the birth control pill,; students were protesting , the Viet Nam war was raging.

Hemlines shrunk,  hair rollers' were passe.  No wonder it was called the swinging sixties.

Enter Vidal Sassoon.  His name was on every fashionista's lips.  This hip, new trendsetter had every woman's attention when he lopped off  hair and introduced the 5 point cut.  From The Archives, Remembering Vidal Sassoon

We said goodbye to the "flipped" and  "page boy" styles.

Grace Coddington models the Five-Point cut
Photo: David Montgomery/Getty Images

I was about to turn 21.  The year was 1972.  My sister was a flight attendant for National Airlines.  My best friend, my mother, and I were booked on her flight out of Miami to London.  On boarding the plane, we upgraded to first class.

Can it get any better?

Mom was a pass rider. We were anxious about her getting "bumped" and missing the flight.  The doors were just about to close on the plane when she boarded.  We all breathed a sigh of relief!

I was wearing my hair in a "shag" - the hot hair cut of the day.   Since London was the mecca of the fashion world back in the day.

 Vidal Sassoon had opened his salon in 1954, in a trendy section of London.  He was the first hairdresser to earn the title of hair stylist.   Fashion conscious women were eager to try out his wash and wear hair cuts.

It was no surprise that after landing at Heathrow Airport,  I couldn't wait to book an appointment at his salon.

There is no way I would go to London without having my hair cut at Vidal Sassoon.

This was going to give me bragging rights.  It was the one thing I had to do, now that I was going to turn 21.

The following day, I arrived early.  My friend accompanied me, asking if I was sure I wanted to do this.  My  mind was made up and I was excited about the change.

I had no idea of what style I was going to get.  Of course, I did not get booked with Vidal himself, but one of his many stylists'.

A trendy redhead with fair skin introduced herself as "Herta."  Fingering through my abundant head of hair, she asked;

 "Have you thought about going a bit shorter?"

The decision was made, and my shoulder-length layered style was history.  I looked at my locks on the floor, as she carefully snipped away. I felt my heart beating as  I closed my eyes tightly, afraid to look in the mirror.

When I finally got the courage, I  opened them, delightfully surprised with the new me.

I walked out of the salon with a chin length bob,  and a sculpted neckline.  I loved the style!

Vidal set the trend for young women in the day.  Being the smart and talented businesses man that he was, Vidal understood fashion- leading him to create his own line of jeans and ready-to-wear line.

When I heard of his passing it saddened me.  I thought of my amazing trip to London- sporting a Vidal Sassoon cut-  celebrating my birthday on top of the London Hilton.

Turning 21 at the end of the swinging sixties is one of my fondest memories.

The haircut today represents Mod England.  Vidal has a place in history- I will forever remember him and that memorable summer.

Credit Issues Can Cost You Your Job

Outrageous.   We've all heard about employers' checking credit scores and social media sites to research their employees' credit scores and find out more about their lifestyles.  I hadn't heard of anyone actually being fired for having credit issues before I read this: A Petition on Change.org.

It is happening.  According to Change.org, Latoya Harton, an accountant, was fired from her job because her debt-to-credit ratio was too high.  Unbelievable.  Latoya is trying to pay off student loan debt.  This is out and out discrimination.  It must be stopped.

According to Latoya, 60% of employers now check employees credit reports, namely TransUnion credit. This company sells credit reports to employers'.  According to Change.org; TransUnion's Chair sits on Obama's job panel.

This is an outrage!

Citizens cannot sit sit still with this any longer;  witness Occupy and other emerging citizens' groups springing up around the country.

This leaves me asking, what's next?  Are employers' going to put camera's in our bedrooms' and bug our telephone calls?

It all makes me very nervous.  Remember Nazi Germany?  This regime started innocently enough.  You were a good German if you joined the party, and look what happened with that mentality.

This is no different.  Our country is in danger of becoming socialist.  We are now being discriminated against  because of our personal income and how we manage money.  Excuse me, but Donald Trump and other Entrepreneurs' couldn't have gotten where they're at if they were being scrutinized by companies checking out their credit.

Just like conducting any other analysis, we need to stop and reflect where this could have started.  Yes, our economy is in trouble, people out of work, and businesses are closing left and right.  The paranoia has now extended to citizens' private lives, which should have nothing to do with this issue.

We have to contact our local legislators and let them know that we do not approve!  It has to start at the grass roots level and work its way up to Washington and big business has to hear our voice.

I urge you to go to this petition and be heard.

 Let businesses know you are not okay with this privacy invasion.

Cuba Remembered

Havana vintage taxi's Boston Globe ( boston.com)

I have a picture of my parents' hanging in my hallway.  It is a classic.  Taken in the 1940's, in Havana, Cuba.

Havana was the place to be see and be seen in that era.  My mother and dad are seated at the bar at a club named "Sloppy Joe's."  Seated next to them a tour guide, with his hair greased back and parted in the middle in the middle.

I love to look at this picture and dream.  Dream about the fashions of the era, and what Cuba would be like to visit.  This article caught my eye and provided some excitement. After 50 years of restrictions, Cubans Hope to Travel Freely.

Amazing.  Back in the late 1950's my dad had just completed building an aluminum extrusion company in Havana.  It was in operation two days, and was shut down by the government.  Dad lost that plant, and with it, many of his dreams.

This is welcomed news.  It wasn't only dad that was effected, but millions of Cuban nationals that had to flee their country for the promise of new beginnings in the United States.  I lived the Cuban drama growing up in Miami.  I witnessed the acculturation of the Cuban population, having to start their lives over again, and leave everything behind.

While there are still restrictions on travel for doctors', scientists' and military personnel.  The Marxist regime is now opening real estate transactions and sales, and some private enterprise.  All in all, this looks very promising .

Perhaps Raul Castro will have a more liberal outlook with regard to relaxing much of Cuba's restrictions on free enterprise and offer more flexibility for its' citizens.

Families were broken when grandfathers' and grandmothers' reluctantly saw their offspring leave Cuba, knowing it might be many years' before they would see them again.

A couple I know went to Cuba for their honeymoon.  They had to jump through hoops to get visas' in the underground market because of previous travel restrictions.  Frankly, I hope Mr. Castro realizes that bringing free enterprise into his country can only bring more stabilization to his people, and will work in his favor to retain the doctors' and scientists' in residence.

For  me, I am hoping I will be able to visit Havana.  I want to go by the building that once was "Sloppy Joe's" to reflect on the good times my parents' had in Havana.

While I'm not packing my suitcase just yet, the thought of taking the trip is still very exciting.

Don't Discuss This at Work

I have broken every rule. I know it is part of my personality, but I found this advise a great reminder: 10 Things You Should Never Tell Your Boss .

• Your Living Situation

I can remember scrambling around, trying to find an apartment a couple of years' ago. Everyone at the office knew I was on a budget, (I broke another rule).

I had to find a place that was inexpensive, and would take a big dog. Fact is, this should not have been shared in the office. One can be stereotyped by his or her living situation. Particularly, if you are going home to live with parents, or are having trouble making ends meet. 

Being a extrovert, it is too easy for me to blurt out my age, (no, no!), personal issues. I, like others, tend to get too comfortable at the office with co-workers. I realize that this has undermined me in the workplace before. 

Although I hate to think about this, the truth is, there are people in the workplace that don't like me. They may want me out for what ever reason. The moment I share sensitive information with them, I can count on this getting back to my boss. I know that my indiscretions will not be welcomed news. 

The lesson here is, personal information is just that, and should be kept close to the vest. If only I can remember this! 

• Mental Health Issues

We all have had some mild mental health issues, whether it be a loss, or some kind of set-back that can compromise our work. It is best kept to ourselves. Obviously, if there is a death in the family, your supervisor has to know- in order to for you to make plans to take off.

However, how you react to the loss, or how it has effected you is none of her business. The rationale here is, sharing how you feel, or how you are coping with any issues may get you passed over for any promotion for which you are being considered. 

The rationale is that you are unstable, and cannot handle the promotion. 

It all seems so innocent, and we all are human. We spend 8, 10 hours and sometimes more with our co-workers, letting our guard down is easy. Fact is, letting our guard down can put us on death row. 

I will let you read the other 8 things you should not tell your boss on your own. I want to end with sharing a little story with you about my own indiscretion that jeopardized my job. 

Having held a Marketing Management position for a company, I was in a continuing education workshop taught by another Marketing Manager (far younger, far less experienced than myself). At lunch, I made a stupid, off-hand comment about salary, something along the lines of "and for all of $________a year, I get to....."

I sealed my death warrant. Turns out, the rookie was making far less than me, and that got back to my supervisor. It was not pretty. 

He may have been far less experienced, but much wiser! 

The next time I want to open my mouth, I will exercise restraint. . I have to keep reminding myself, co-workers are not friends. Inasmuch as I want them to be, it is what it is. 

When I want to whine, I will try to visualize three large pieces of masking tape over my mouth. 

Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease: The Ruthless Killer

Still another cow has been identified as having Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE )or Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease in humans (aka Mad Cow Disease).  The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) wants us to believe this latest incident is nothing to be concerned about, as this is a dairy cow, and as such - cannot transmit this disease.


This is not an acceptable answer for me.  If this cow is infected, and we don't know how it got infected, how many more cattle are in our food supply with the disease?  Truth is, no one knows how many cows are effected because only a portion of our cattle is tested.  According to Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Foundation (CJDF); the USDA randomly 40,000 cows per year. 


Thirty-five million cows are slaughtered annually.  You don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out that is not much of a test.  According to The Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease Foundation (CJDF), the USDA feels that the test is working, as only 4 cases have been detected since the first infected cow was discovered in 2003.


Moreover, according the CJDF, the USDA is considering relaxing the Over 30 Month (OTM) rule that has been enacted to protect the government meat supply in this country.  Should this happen,  cattle from other countries will  be introduced into our meat supply, upping the odds that cattle will be infected.


I had a good friend contract Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.  Her earliest symptoms were that she felt dizzy.  She initially thought it was an ear disorder.  A CT scan confirmed the diagnosis. Shortly after this first symptom, she lost her vision and was bedridden.  


In 6 weeks she was dead.  I was devastated.  


I don't want this to happen to anyone.  It is a cruel and horrific disease.  We need to be accountable for our families and loved ones, and fight this legislation.  Because it is still a relatively rare disease, it is not a hot topic for most Americans.  


If you have more questions and concerns please check out the Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, website, or contact them at 1-800-659-1991.

The "Screamers:" Muscle Head Madness

I go to the gym every day on my lunch hour.  I have always found it quiet, and relaxing.  A time I can put my head phones on and get lost in listening to my favorite music.

That was how I enjoyed my lunch hour  until  "the screamers" joined my gym.

The "screamers" are muscle-head males.  They demonstrate their machoness every day with head rattling vocal ability.  The notes they reach would rival Pavarotti.  All I can think of is asking them if they know that their weights are too heavy.

But I wouldn't dare.

I keep thinking that today will be the day when they give it a break. But just when I get on the tread mill it begins again..

 ERGGHH, AGHHHH, OHHHHHHHHH!  YAAAAK, SHHH____T..

They may think it is attractive, but honestly, with much more of this, I am going to buy them a bottle of Milk-of-Magnesia!

I look around when this happens, everyone - including other men,- stop what they're doing and look over at the side show with me.

Yet still, no one comments, or makes remarks about how rude they are.  It is taking center stage in a place where people want to mellow and fade into the wood work.

Someone should write a book on gym etiquette...hmmmm.

Macho men of the world and wannabe's:  Please don't do this in the gym.  I respect your right to work out along with me, but couldn't you just tone it down a little? Maybe just grunt and let it go at that?  Does it have to be a long, drawn out, cave man display of  percolating testosterone?

For all this, these guys have physiques like sumo wrestlers.  I don't know about you, but I don't find that attractive.

I bet Arnold Schwarzenegger isn't a screamer, are you Arnold?

I miss my quiet lunch hour work out.  I don't think I will have those quiet work outs again.  Not if I want to continue to patronize the same gym.

Just my luck, I will change gyms', and find "screamers" at the new gym.

I am hoping that maybe I will get lucky, and you are reading this.   I won't find out until I get to the gym today.




  

Reinventing Yourself

Marriane Faithful and Mick Jagger, circa 1960's
Charlesweb.com

Captain  C.B. Sullenberg just introduced a new book: What it Means to Be a Genuine Leader;  Marianne Faithful has forged a new career in art: Innocence and Experience, Curated by Marianne Faithful.

Captain C.B. Sullenberg, Blogger.com

Captain Sullenberg, you recall, became America's hero, when he skillfully landed a plane on the Hudson River.   Marrianne Faithful, was everybody's sweetheart and Mick Jagger's girlfriend in the 1960's.  Both Captain Sullenberg and Marianne Faithful were at the end of their careers, but decided to reinvent themselves.

Granted, Faithful already had achieved success-skyrocketing to fame when she hit American airwaves singing the Rolling Stones song  As Tears Go By.  American was seduced by her coy and feminine manner, and angel-soft voice.

Captain Sullenberg, on the other hand, was a successful pilot whom had training in emergency maneuvers and just happened to be the right captain for the challenge when he landed a jet on the Hudson River.

What a perfect opportunity for him to write about about his insight into leadership.

Then there is John Walsh.  John lost his son Adam to a predator in a Sear's store back in 1980's.  As a public relations practitioner, the tragedy opened a new door for him as a television host on America's Most Wanted.


However, people like you and I are also discovering new careers, and hidden talents, just when we think it is time to settle down and fade into the sunset.

Maybe you, too, have had a tragedy in your life- and want to give up. Perhaps, you can't see the door that is open for you because of the tragedy.

I had spent half my life in mall marketing and non-profit public relations work.  Just before I turned 50, I felt a burn out, I wanted to do something that would put me in charge of my own destiny.  So I went into real estate. I did that for 8 years.  I am now ready to try another hat on, and do something new!

I often said, I am afraid my epitaph will read:  Here lies a woman who never lived up to her potential.  I don't want that to happen.  My secret dream has always been writing.  I have wanted to be a writer since I was in high school.  I was often discouraged, because very few writers were successful.

So I have come full circle now.  I am doing what I have always wanted to do.

I have always felt there is a part of myself that is not fulfilled.  Now, regardless of what happens with my writing, I feel good knowing I have not put it off any longer.

So what is it you want to do?  Is there a secret dream you have, and are putting it off?

I can't think of a better time than now to throw your hat in the ring!

Wonder Women: Traits That Make You a Success

Every successful woman tells a story - a story about how they found they way into creating a niche' for themselves- a niche' that has not been tapped.  From Katie Couric to Martha Stewart, today's mega women started chipping away at themselves, doing what they love to do- reaching the pinnacle of success: Katie Couric: Moments, Choosing Journalism.

It is inspirational to listen to these stories, finding how they made dreams a reality.  

• Katie Couric:  Katie got bit by the Journalism bug in grade school, reading a school essay to her classmates.  
• Martha Stewart:  Started off like every other house wife, but ending up redesigning her house on her own, and finding a niche' in what was considered an otherwise unexciting calling, tending to home and hearth.

What struck me is that these women are not any different than you or I.  It is how they look at the world that makes them different.  It is the way they approach challenges, refusing to accept defeat.  They are all self- made millionaires and billionaires.  To think that just 50 odd years ago, nobody would ever think of women as capable of this.

Let's look at Barbara Walters.  She forged the way for today's women journalists.'  When she was first on the air, she raised a lot of eyebrows.

 She stood alone with giants in the industries:  Walter Chronkite, Chet Huntley, David Brinkley.

Barbara is so remarkable.  Her delivery, her innate ability to identify what people want to know about people. When she broke into a man's world on television, the audience soon forgot she was a woman. Her audience wanted to hear what she had to say.  She is well into her 80's and showing no sign of retiring anytime soon.

When ever the job search begins to wear me down.  I think of these ladies.  Instead of accepting defeat, I picture them just dusting off and getting back into the saddle.

Close your eyes and envision where you want to be, every detail, your office, your name on the door, the building.  Spend time perfecting your mantra and getting closer to your goal.

Your dream job is right around the corner!

Duped by PayPal Scheme

The email hadn't dried on my post on Internet Seduction when I received this:

Dear Customer, You have added aidound@gmail.com as a new email address for your PayPal account. IP connection: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXConnection Time: 24-04-2012 2:32:07 If you did not authorize this change,check with family members and others who
mayhave access to your account first.If you still feel that an unauthorized person has changed your email: *Please download and unzip the form attached to your email.*Submitting this form will automatically restore your original PayPal account
email. Thank you.

There was an attachment with this email - with the PayPal logo - asking me for my social security number, address, email and credit card authorization number.  

I was floored.  

I  forwarded this to spoof@paypal.com .  I received an email back, advising me that this was a  phishing attempt- thanking me for sending it on the PayPal security.  

Does it ever end?

I can understand how one can be easily duped.  These emails appear so innocent, so professional.  It is easy to panic and have a knee-jerk reaction when reading.

I am going to continue to use PayPal,  as my transactions have been secure thus far.

However, I think it important I share this with you:

• Contact the vendor in question when you get an email like this
• Check directory assistance or validate the correct telephone and email information on your statement.
• Finally, report the incident once you validate the vendor credibility

I know we can beat these scammers at their own game.  

Let's fight the Internet seduction together.

Grandma Never Had This Talk With Me

This has got to be the greatest sex advice ever!  It is lovingly passed down to a 20 year old, from her 86 year old Grandmother:  Sex Advise From My Grandmother.

Amazing.  This woman is 86 years old, and wrote this on the back of her assisted care newsletter!  

Apparently, Grandma asked Mother if her granddaughter was a virgin, and proceeded to dish out a game plan for her.

In my house, all I heard was "never sleep with a man until you're married'.  These pearls' of wisdom passed down from generations of Lithuanian mothers.'  This Grandma gives Dr. Ruth a run for her money. 

No subject is taboo, she dishes on:

• anal sex
• oral sex
• how to avoid STD's
• picking out your soul mate
• advise on dating
• stingy men

I can't remember reading anything like this in Cosmopolitan, Glamour or any other rag!  

I especially like her take on having sex: 

"To know if you are both in love, you feel a "connection" in bed. If you feel ALONE in bed when having sex, you are with the WRONG man. This is CRITICAL! The connection of mind, body, soul!"

I should have read Grandma's advice before I married two men.  She covers everything I need to know, but don't.

You think?

Grandma also addresses credit card debt:

If he has any DUMP HIM.   ( I have already struck out on three counts).

I  decided I am copying this advise and tucking it away in my purse.  If I ever have a chance (again) to decide, I am whipping it out.

I am also picking up the phone to call my daughter.  I definitely have to cover a few things with her!

Internet Seduction

I think there's more money in being a scammer than in having a legitimate job.  Consider the latest expose' of these twin brothers: teen-twins-nabbed-in-robot-stock-pick-scam/

Seems these British teens had put together a stock newsletter and charged $47.00 a pop for tips on the hottest stocks.  Additionally, they were being paid under the table to promote a third party's stock on the side!

I wonder, at  what age do people become criminals?  It seems that they must have started as toddlers.  Just picking up the paper, or browsing the Internet, people can pick out at least a dozen or more different types of criminal activity.   In as much as the Internet has open new doors for businesses and new ventures, it has also compromised the safety of the public.

Every time I am asked for a password on a site, I shudder.  I know that nothing is sacred on the net.  Anyone can get any information they want using unsavory methods to hack into accounts.  Still, I give in to laziness and continue to do everything on line.  The Internet is so seductive, it makes everything so easy.  You can shop, bank, send money, get money, find love and just about anything else.

Here's my thinking: why get in your car to run errands when you can sit in your jammie's and do it all at home?  So, with the wonder and ease of on-line marketing and selling, we are left vulnerable.

I always think about how much I am willing to lose if things go south with any transaction.  Not that I have a lot to lose, but identity theft can cost one quite a bit.  Even if I do not have disposable income,  for example, my credit and all my personal information can be stolen in less than a minute.

Hmmm. so, I am not giving a second thought to paying my Nordstrom's online.  Just one of my many bill's that I   click to pay.

After all,  it is so much easier than buying a stamp and having to walk to the mailbox.

What it Takes to Rule the World

In watching the news coverage on Dick Clark last night, a clip of Madonna was shared of her in one of her first appearances, being interviewed by Clark.

It was no surprise when Clark asked her, "are you afraid?" (referring to her new found success and upcoming performances), with which she replied; "not really, I have always had self confidence."

That struck a note with me.  I think it answers the question of what quality determines success.

Self confidence.

If you don't have it, you won't get very far.  As for myself, I faked it, all my life.   I apparently did a very good job of it,  because I usually got the job I was after.  Trouble, is, if you don't really have self confidence, it eventually will come back to bite you, no matter what the endeavor.

How do you get self confidence?  First, the most conventional way to obtain it is from excellent parents'.  Parents' that remind you as a wee little one how extraordinary you are.  If your parents' don't have self confidence themselves, that may be a liability to you.

Other people, do not have a conventional upbringing, and just seem to have the "it"  factor.  They scratch and claw their way into life, setting their sights on a goal and winning.

I call them the fighters.

Their motivation is to prove to themselves and the world that they are winners. They are achievers.  They have their handicaps, but refuse to be vulnerable.  This is commonly referred to as over compensation.

I think I fall into that category.

The danger of faking self confidence is that it will eventually sabotage your work and life.  For example, in making decisions, you will find yourself questioning whether you made the right ones.  You will seek other counsel instead of relying on your own judgment.

People with self confidence, achieve what they want - because they know that they are right.  Against all odds, they pursue their goals and see success at the end.

It is almost impossible to acquire self confidence if you don't have it in the first place.  You can get better, but you always will have the inner voice questioning:

•  Did I do a good job? 
•  Make the right decision?
•  Pick the right partner?

When Madonna ended her interview with Clark, she said, "I want to rule the world."

There is no question she has accomplished her goal.

What Would Have Become of Camelot?

President John F. Kennedy and Mary Pinchot Meyer in Pennsylvania in September 1963.

I remember the day all too well.  I was in Jr. High School, in 1963.  An announcement came over the loud speaker, it was our principal announcing that John F. Kennedy was shot dead in Texas.  School was immediately let out, tears streamed down students' faces, as if they had lost one of their own.

John Kennedy was bigger than  life to me at 12 years old.  He looked differently, acted differently, and was so handsome.  Nobody wore their hair quite like him, he had charm, and wasn't afraid to use it.  He cracked jokes as easily as downing a beer, and the media loved and protected him.  Something that would never happen today.

When I looked over this account of his latest dalliance, I wasn't surprised. Mary Pinchot Meyer JFK Mistress Assasinated.  I take the fact that Kennedy was a philanderer with a grain of salt.  He was so precious to me as a young girl, that, in my mind, he had no faults.  I felt, and still feel, that he always had the best interest of his country in mind, and would gladly die again for America.

I don't think this article, or anything else that has exposed his liaisons with actresses and acquaintances can ever ruin his credibility.  He was just too brilliant and kind for that to happen.  When he addressed the nation, you know he meant business.  We felt protected and privileged to have such a progressive, forward thinking leader.

We reveled in his family outings with John and Caroline.  We loved watching Jackie jump her horse, and watching Caroline learning to ride on her pony.  The one photo- besides the one of John John saluting his dad at the funeral - I will never forget is of John John playing under his desk at the White House.

Jackie, so fashion forward, was a breath of fresh air.  I especially enjoyed watching her first television presentation, when she took America on tour after redecorating the White House.  After the Eisenhower administration, the Kennedy's were royalty in the White House.  President's before Kennedy, were stuffy, formal.  We didn't see their wit, or have a window into their family life.

No wonder the years' Kennedy spent as our President are fondly remembered as the Camelot years.  Those years' were a fairy tale for most of America.  Even Khrushchev was charmed by Mrs. Kennedy, sending her a little dog she had expressed an interest in that was part of Russia's space program.

With the death of John Kennedy Jr, Caroline is all that is left of Camelot.  I often think of what Camelot would be like today, if John F Kennedy were alive.  I imagine he would be writing,  and still be involved in politics.  His reign ended far too soon, like all good fairy tales.

We can only wonder what would have become of Camelot had he still be alive.

Does Your Facebook Page Enhance Your Professional Image?

Employees may be scrutinized by their social media sites.  But should you really be concerned?  Look at the percentages of  companies that evaluated potential job candidates on their social media web sites: Here's What hiring Managers Actually Look For In Your Facebook Profile.

There are rumblings about managers looking at social media to evaluate potential hires.  If candidates' are foolish enough to post inappropriate information - or suggestive material on their sites- they should be concerned.

Good taste should be the rule.

I believe that social media sites, such as Facebook, provide a window into a candidate's personality; they can help hiring Managers determine if the potential employee is a good fit for the company.  For example: artwork, movies, family activities are all examples of sharing personal interests.  This kind of information can be very positive - portraying you as family oriented and well rounded.

I have posted religious photos on my site, and realize that is a no-no.  Religious beliefs can make me vulnerable in my job search quest.   I am aware of this risk, but chose to go ahead and post them anyway.

Where is gets dicey is when expletives are used on social media, provocative photos, obsessive  interests, for example; excessive discussion about weapons and explosives will probably not sit well with a potential employer.

It comes down to exercising good common sense.  I often forget that so many intelligent people lack common sense.  Whenever I post anything on my Facebook page, I always try to assess how that will be interpreted by my audience.  If I have any concerns, I just don't post the comment or article.

Actually, there are a lot of positives about having a presence in social media.  Your connections, for example, may be to prominent business people, your interests may tie into a company's mission.  Those examples may get you the key to the washroom door.

So, the next time you want to post something wild on your Facebook page, think about how it will impact your professional image and ask:

Will this post elevate my professional status? Or will it jeopardize that job or promotion I have long sought?

One final thought:  In this competitive job market, it just may come down to having good luck anyway.

Dead Man Phone Scam

I received a phone call last night from my son, he is concerned about an incident he is having with his new mobile phone service.

This is one to add to the list of strange and bizarre.  It is out there for sure.

He is able to phone out using his new service.  However, when someone tries to reach him you get the following message:

 "This phone was found on a deceased person.  This is _____ at  the ____ Hospital.  Please call the following number if you have any information on the deceased."

Needless to say, family members were absolutely panic stricken when they received this message.  Unbeknownst to him,  he was curious about why he hadn't received any calls.  When I tried his number, I realized I was at risk - as the offenders' now had a record of my caller ID.

It was obvious to me that this was not a legitimate message.  First of all, no police department would let a wireless company issue that telephone number to another person, while a crime is under investigation.  That was the first red flag.  The second, was asking for the caller to phone another number.  God knows what information can be garnered from simply making the call.  With all our sophisticated technology out there, it is open seasons for criminals.

My son called his wireless provider and reported the incident.  They are researching this now.  I imagine if someone were to call the number provided on the voice mail message, they would get hit with a big, fat charge.

What is next for scammers?

This is most devious attempt to defraud people of money, and the cruelest methodology ever used.

I am wondering if this has happened to you?

It is my hope this will open a forum for discussion as a public service to help educate the public about fraud.

I am willing to share your experiences on my site.

I look forward to your war stories, and would like to expose the "black slime" trying to take us down!