Are You Lucky In Love?

I am not lucky in love.  Yes, I am a cupid skeptic, I have heard about all these wonderful love stories, but it is just not in the cards for me.  After two failed marriages, there aren't many who would disagree.

I accept full responsibility.  I am too selfish to be in a relationship.  When I am 'involved,' I pick the wrong partners. I don't cooperate.  I was meant to be single.  It took me a lifetime to figure it out.

I went through the stages of looking for love in all the wrong places- on-line, at clubs, through friends.  Ugh, what a drain.  I just hated putting all that effort into meeting someone special.  I am so picky.  No, I am not a goddess, but the kind of man I want is already taken.

 The good one's always are.

I've met scores of men, alcoholics, love addicts, men with emotional and mental issues.  Whew, the list goes on and on.

It is okay not to have a significant other,  I feel like if I have to try that hard to meet someone special- and not 'settle' - love is just not in the cards for me.

I guess you could say the romantic side of life just isn't a possibility   As far back as I can remember, the men I adored could not reciprocate feelings for one reason or another.

I married for all the wrong reasons.  I settled.  Party number one: He was a professional and it seemed the right time to settle down and have a family.  I told myself that my dreams were unrealistic, and that I had unrealistic expectations for myself.  How could I not want to marry a successful CPA?  He was attentive, intelligent, reasonably attractive.  The spark was never there,  I am talking the kind of spark that is a true soul connection.

Funny thing is, the men I am most attracted to are not necessarily successful, but there has to be chemistry.  Chemistry is what complicates relationships.  It gets in the way of assessing a relationships true value.Very few men have the whole package, chemistry, stability and other qualities that make them lifetime partner material.

This Valentine's Day I am having a little picnic with butter cream iced cookies, cakes, and meatball sandwiches.  I am celebrating the day with co-workers at the office.

I got a mushy card from husband number two, which expressed his undying love for me.  Funny thing is, in the years we were married he never uttered a word about his feelings for me. In addition, I received  two texts wishing me a Happy Valentines Day,one of which sent to me in 'error' but the party left me the following message:

 "Happy Valentines Day to you, whoever you are."  Exactly, that's what I am still trying to figure out.