Managing Career Disappointment

Have you ever wanted something more than anything in world, but had to turn it down when you got it?

It could be a job, a new beau, a home.  Something you have been dreaming about, visualizing, wishing and hoping about so much it hurts.

Then, you find out your perfect dream is a smoke screen.  There is a piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit.  Very often, this dream come true requires a risk, and you have to take it or pass on it.

I had what I have been working for, within reach and offered to me.

But there were issues about owning my dream.  Serious issues.  I wanted to bury my concerns, and just go for it.  However, after conferring with friends, I knew that I couldn't follow my gut this time.  I couldn't ignore elements of this opportunity that would clearly impact me if I said yes and took the risk.

Sometimes, life sucks.

I am feeling very angry about loosing something so important- so precious.  Particularly because I don't have a lot of time left on this earth to obtain that goal.

The objections were serious enough that I just couldn't ignore them.  Oh, I want to just do it anyway.  This would be a fatal move.  In my case, it is a job...I job that I covet, that I want so badly.

I have made some serious mistakes in the past, and even though I had an offer I found hard to refuse, I couldn't take it not because of fear of failure, I know I am the best person for this position- but the players would have affected my success.  The fit wasn't there.

Moreover, I have taken positions in the past ignoring my gut, and I was out the door within 3 months.  I am a very special personality,  People either love me or hate me.  There is nothing lukewarm regarding how co-workers and bosses evaluate me.

I want to kick up my heels, stomp my feet and scream at my frustration.

Back in the day, jobs were so plentiful that it took one no more than 4 to 6 months to get the job of your dreams.  Not today, and certainly not for a boomer like me.

Has this ever happened to you?  How did you handle disappointment?

Did you mourn your dream that slipped out of your reach?

I can't let things go.  I am tenacious and stubborn to a fault.  And, I beat myself up mercilessly.

So, as I approach the long, and winding weekend, I have yet another burr under my saddle to fester.

Life can suck when you have to make hard decisions.

So tonight, instead of going home and talking to "the hand" I am going to put my arms around my Great Pyrenees and pour my heart out.


  1. Ahhh Denise, I can tell you are in Pain. It's actually gained wisdom that let you to be wise enough to know that this is not the dream job that you actually want. It's not, it couldn't be. I don't know how religious you are but I believe if a door is hard to get through..for any reason, then that's not the door I should be going through. And mark my words, 3 months from now, you will laugh out loud when you get the Job or opportunity that really IS meant to be. And if you would have taken the WRONG one then you could have never realized the second..KWIM?

  2. Thank you for sharing your has been a tough road for the past 6 years. Longest ever. Yes, I am religious, and that is the ONLY thing that has kept me going. I prayed about this, and like it or not, I got my answer for sure.

  3. I was going to suggest that you had your prayers answered, you just didn't like the answer. But I see you already know that. He has something better in store for you.

  4. I had a shot at a job I thought was my dream job when I was in my mid 50s. Then I got a report that my mammogram looked suspicious, and I needed to go have a sonogram. Then I started having heart palpitations. I've had a heart murmur for years, so the doctor said I should have a sonogram for that, too. Both sonograms showed no problems after all, but in the meantime, I had to withdraw from consideration for the position. It was almost as if God was telling me to stay put, but I was pretty depressed about it for a time. I realize now that I wouldn't have enjoyed the "dream job" nearly as much as I enjoyed the job I continued to work in until I retired. ( I got the job I had through a strange sting of "coincidences." So maybe God was, indeed telling me I was where I was supposed to be. Maybe he's speaking to you the same way.)

    1. Angela, first of all, thank God you are alright now! Health takes precedent over most everything. You are absolutely correct. Especially because I did pray about this. Suppose it is a case of just growing up and moving on. I am still learning how to do that! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Yes, as I have said, I had the answer, just didn't like it! Thanks for comments!