Keep A Low Profile On The Job

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Having worked for most of my life, I have made many observations.  One conclusion I have come to  is emotional displays in the workplace can sabotage your career.

I am convinced that employees who are whinny and troublesome are not the stand-outs for the next promotion. In fact, it is likely they won't be on the payroll next year.

I also don't believe that employees that have a tenure with a company are necessarily the most creative, or most talented.  However, these employees have an uncanny ability to conduct themselves professionally.

 How well you adapt and fit in with your colleagues can also make or break you.  Strong leadership skills, and being able to divorce yourself from personal issues are coveted traits in the corporate world.

 One of my co-workers a long time ago gave me wonderful advise on how to conduct myself on weekly conference calls:  "Try to be invisible".  The point is, getting on your supervisor's radar may not be the best idea.  Listening skills go a long way.

I have worked in businesses where I have observed people that are tougher than nails.  These employees  are direct and focused. They crack the whip, are great with details, and get the job done.  They are far too clever to let their emotional guard down at work.

Emotional displays can put you at risk.   Particularly to other ambitious employees that may want your job.  I found this piece of interest:  Use Your Jealously, Anxiety and Frustration To Motivate You At Work.
While it is not healthy to bottle emotions, the workplace is not a place to expose them.  We are all human, and, as such, have good and bad days.

One of the mistakes I am guilty of is believing my co-workers are friends.  No one is my friend at work.  If it comes right down to it, any one of my co-workers will throw me under the bus of if their job is in jeopardy.  Trouble is, I have a hard time believing this.

It is easy to get comfortable on the job.  After all, we spend more time with co-workers than with family. Personally, it is hard for me to make small talk.  But that is exactly the only type of talk I should engage in at work.

Employers don't appreciate personal problems brought to the job. The key is not to give anybody any ammunition that would compromise your career.

Above all: be your own counsel.  Unless, of course, you have specific job-related issues to discuss with your supervisor.

So, as I head back to my desk, I repeat to myself: " I will not discuss my date last night, I will not discuss my date last night, I will not discuss my date last night".

Cruise Lines Need to Beef Up Emergency Training

I have always loved being on a cruise.  To me, it is the ultimate in complete relaxation.  I don't have an phobias about being out at sea, or getting sea sick.

Lately, I have become skeptical about the safety in cruising.  Especially after reading this:Carnival Cruise Sued for "Party Atmosphere" That Allegedly Led to Woman's Death

First the Costa Cruise Line capsizes because of an out-to-lunch captain, who ran his ship aground because he was distracted by his mistress.  Now, Carnival Cruise Lines is being sued because an intoxicated woman slices her wrist on glass and bleeds to death.

Both incidents' make me nervous.  While they are rate instances, both point to staff that is clueless.  The lawsuit filed by the family of the woman that died on the Carnival cruise, alleges the staff was not trained to deal with this emergency.  The woman bled out, and suffered a coronary after being taken to the ship's infirmary.

In the Costa Cruise Line incident, poor leadership and procedures led to the death of  28 of its' more than 4,200 passengers.  Four passengers' are still unaccounted: for :More Bodies Found On Costa Cruise Ship.

I don't have that warm an cozy feeling about safety and cruising anymore.  To me, it was like being inside a womb, safe, with every comfort imaginable.  The reality is, with the construction of monster ships, safety has not been properly addressed.

The reality is every passenger is responsible for himself.  It is clear that passengers' cannot expect to rely on the expertise of cruise staff or even the captain.

I would like to hear or read that cruise lines are seriously addressing this issue.  It would be comforting to learn that one of companies has initiated intensive training and on going drills to prepare for emergencies.

The fact is, these events would not stop me from taking a cruise.  But you can bet that I will prepare myself by checking out the life boats and become familiar with the ship should I make this venture.

Can You Have Children and Career?

Ahikam Seri/Bloomberg via Getty Images

I certainly wasn't one of the world's most powerful women, however;  I was a single mom trying to keep my head above water. My children were 2 and 4 when I divorced, and I had to have a game plan to keep my job and be able to have round the clock child care.

I was fortunate that I lived in Miami Beach, Florida.  During the time my children were young, in the 1980's; there was a continual influx of hispanics from Central and South America.  I decided to place an ad in Diario Las Americas, Miami's spanish newspaper, to look for live-in help.

I didn't feel comfortable dropping my children off at a day-care center.  Moreover, when I traveled, I had no one that could care for them.  The side benefit was that my children would learn Spanish as a second language.

Although, like the women mentioned in this article World's 20 Most Powerful Mom's;  I was able to join my children for dinner each evening - I felt guilty that I missed being home to raise them myself.

Katharine Hepburn once remarked that  you can't have a career and children.

There is a great deal of wisdom in that comment.

Women today have children and careers.  It is a fine juggling act.  Many of the women that have careers can't  run home when their children need them.  I don't know how they feel about leaving their care and rearing to someone else.

My relationship with my children is not the best.  Every now and then, they will comment on my career, and the "nannies" that were there when I was away.  I blame much of the problems I have with them on making this decision.

I think they lost respect for me as a mother.  While they never admitted this to me, I believe they felt cheated.

My daughter is not married, and has a professional career..  I am curious to see how she will manage her child care, if she chooses to have children.  If I were living where she resides, I certainly would want to help her out.

 I didn't have any family to step in and assist.  I do believe that if family can help, it makes all the difference in raising children.  That way, the child still feels connected to the mother.

Funny how history repeats itself, as I was also raised my a nanny.  She was an incredible Peruvian woman, who was closer to me than my mother, as  my mother traveled frequently.

I grew up with a hole in my heart, yearning for parents' and family that I didn't have.

If I had to do it over again, I honestly don't know what I would do.  It is tempting to take the short cut, be selfish and opt for both career and family.

Personal experience tells me it can be heartbreaking for the child.

A Dog's Enduring Love

Hachiko, courtesy Wikipedia

I spent the weekend crying. It was a bittersweet experience. I had watched the television story " Hachi :" A Dog's Tale. It ripped my heart out.

You have heard many incredible dog stories about loyalty. This one, is the original dog loyalty story. It dates back to 1924, when Professor Hidesamuro Ueno brought Hachiko, an Akita puppy to Tokyo . 

The pup used to stand by the door of his home to see him off each morning. At 4:00 pm in the afternoon, Hachiko waited for his beloved owner at the train station. One day, the Professor did not get off the train. That did not stop Hachiko, as this faithful dog continued to return to the station at precisely the same time, every day, until his death 9 years later in 1934. 

Ueno had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and died in the hospital. The dog was given to relatives who lived far from the train station. However, Hachiko continually escaped to going back to the same site to wait for the Professor. 

I cannot think of any human this loyal. My love for dogs' goes way back to my earliest memories. I can remember watching Lassie Come Home and bawling my eyes out. 

Perhaps my pain comes from the fact that I longed for the true love this dog gave to his master. Having absentee parents, the emptiness is so deep that it stays with me - to watch this film was like adding salt to an open wound. 

Animals, like Hachiko,, teach us about life. The show us loyalty without boundaries. .Loyal dogs, like Hachiko diie every day for their masters'. There are stories about pets standing guard at their owners' graves - refusing to eat or leave. 

I had a German Shepherd that I had to put down. She suffered from cancer, she became so ill that she could barely lift her head. My faithful love, stared at me until she could no longer keep her eyes open.


Gretel was probably cut from the same grain as Hachiko . She was a fierce body guard, She used to pace room- to- room looking in on the children. She was always "on duty" and forever devoted to the family. 

I keep telling myself I will not buy another pet, because it is too painful to lose them. Yet, I cannot imagine life without the true love and devotion of a dog. It frightens me that some day, in the not too distant future, I will not be able to care for another pet.

I pray that this day never comes. 

I am eternally grateful for this God-given gift. Dogs are a treasure.They are worth more than any amount of money. The bond I have with them is stronger than any human friendship.

I know that they love me too, I only need to gaze into their eyes to see how much.