Can You Have Children and Career?

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I certainly wasn't one of the world's most powerful women, however;  I was a single mom trying to keep my head above water. My children were 2 and 4 when I divorced, and I had to have a game plan to keep my job and be able to have round the clock child care.

I was fortunate that I lived in Miami Beach, Florida.  During the time my children were young, in the 1980's; there was a continual influx of hispanics from Central and South America.  I decided to place an ad in Diario Las Americas, Miami's spanish newspaper, to look for live-in help.

I didn't feel comfortable dropping my children off at a day-care center.  Moreover, when I traveled, I had no one that could care for them.  The side benefit was that my children would learn Spanish as a second language.

Although, like the women mentioned in this article World's 20 Most Powerful Mom's;  I was able to join my children for dinner each evening - I felt guilty that I missed being home to raise them myself.

Katharine Hepburn once remarked that  you can't have a career and children.

There is a great deal of wisdom in that comment.

Women today have children and careers.  It is a fine juggling act.  Many of the women that have careers can't  run home when their children need them.  I don't know how they feel about leaving their care and rearing to someone else.

My relationship with my children is not the best.  Every now and then, they will comment on my career, and the "nannies" that were there when I was away.  I blame much of the problems I have with them on making this decision.

I think they lost respect for me as a mother.  While they never admitted this to me, I believe they felt cheated.

My daughter is not married, and has a professional career..  I am curious to see how she will manage her child care, if she chooses to have children.  If I were living where she resides, I certainly would want to help her out.

 I didn't have any family to step in and assist.  I do believe that if family can help, it makes all the difference in raising children.  That way, the child still feels connected to the mother.

Funny how history repeats itself, as I was also raised my a nanny.  She was an incredible Peruvian woman, who was closer to me than my mother, as  my mother traveled frequently.

I grew up with a hole in my heart, yearning for parents' and family that I didn't have.

If I had to do it over again, I honestly don't know what I would do.  It is tempting to take the short cut, be selfish and opt for both career and family.

Personal experience tells me it can be heartbreaking for the child.