Gretel

There is a best friend in my life I have lost.  Her name was "Gretel".

 She was only 3  month's old when I first met her.  I remember the scenerio like yesterday.  It was a cold November day.  I bundled my two children up and put them into my Red Ford Tempo. Very slowly, we inched our way toward the Black Forest in Colorado Springs.  The house was very difficult to find and navigate the snowy, icy, road at the same time.  It took over 2 hours as we traveled at a snail's pace up Parker Road . We could hardly wait to get there.

                                                                                                                           
You see, we weren't only going to be introduced to "Gretel" but two of her sister's also.  Finally, we arrived at the farm house, then we were faced with navigated a winding road all the way up on a hill to the farm.
We were greeted by three jumping German Shepherd female puppies, all smoothering our faces with wet kisses,  endlessly pawing and jumping for attention.

I looked at the kids, and asked, "Which one do you like?"  "That one!" they cried, and I quickly selected the most hyper puppy as our final selection.

"Gretel" was scooped up to have her nails clipped by her breeder.  She was absolutely beautiful, a black and tan face with a perfect diamond in the center of her forehead.  After getting her food and care instructions, I wrote out my check for six-hundred and fifty dollars. A decent price for a German Shepherd puppy in 1993.   It was done.  She was officially ours.

As we made our way back through the winding road of the house, "Lexi" her champion mom, ran along side of our car, knowing that she had one less puppy in her care.  "Lexi" followed us all the way to the highway road, trying to get one last look at the people who took one more of her pups away. It broke my heart, and I can still see her eyes as we drove away with Gretel; but I was so excited at the same time.

She too, was so excited that she threw up on the way back in our car.  We didn't care, we had our own German Shepherd puppy to love and cherish.  Once we took her out of the car, and into the house, my husband sneered at her from the couch.  "Why did you get a FEMALE?, I wanted a MALE," he said.
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She knew he was less than enthusiastic to have her in his home.  She sat quietly at the garage entrance door with flat ears and sad, droopy eyes until he said the magical words: "come!."  The rest is history, she instantly became the fifth member of the family.

Through good times and bad times, she was our constant companion and best friend.  She sauntered from room to room at night, keeping close watch over her charges; never faultering on her love, devotion and endless protection.

We actually took her on a long car trip to Nevada.  Oh, how we LOVED having her curl up in the bed at night, between our two children, a very unusual but steadfast "nanny."

I taught her all her manners at obedience school, and practiced with her in our local school playground on weekends.  She was well worth every penny of her $650.00 and more.

After the children grew up and moved away, she got calmer and slower.  No more did she pace back and forth through the rooms looking after her charges.  It was clear she knew her mission was all but over. 

In October of 2005, she developed a sore on her side that wouldn't heal.  We thought she fought or caught on something in the yard.  But it was the worst.  She had a terminal cancer. 

She was spoiled and catered to even more those last 6 months'.  She wouldn't give up, she struggled to maintain her duties around our house.  When the end came, she could hardly hold her head up.  She stared at me as if to say "I'm ready."  We called the vet to our house to keep her comfortable.

I whispered "love you Gret, and thank you."  She struggled until her last breath.  Somehow, I still feel her in the house, even though she is gone.  I don't think I will ever have a best friend quite as unique as "Gretel."

I will miss her until I can join her; and will always think of her as my most devoted friend and companion.

Make Your Dream a Reality

Reflecting back on "Up in the Air," which I enjoyed seeing yesterday, there was a part where George Clooney's character is firing an employee and he asks:  "At what point in your life did you stop living your dream?"  Wow, that hit home with me.

As far back as I can think, I always wanted to be a copywriter and move to New York City.  It was the mecca of everything, fashion, style, excitement, theater, art and film, all wrapped up in one beautiful package.
But, like the character in the film, I never started to put ANYTHING into my bag to lead me to New York.

I "settled" on Miami, Florida, my place of  birth to live and work as a young woman.  I had options, however; I let fear dictate my life.  Now I understand full-well how disastrous that can be.

 When I was accepted to Northwestern University to pursue a career in Journalism, guess what?  I didn't go.  Instead, I opted to "be safe" and close to the nest and attend the University of Miami.  Now the University of Miami was a decent school, but it wasn't the best school for my dream.

I suppose this will continue to be a life-long regret.  I often think "what if" or had I made that choice, where would my life be now? Perhaps I can live out that dream and write a novel about that.  It isn't strange at all that I have come full-circle and am writing this blog.  I suppose it is not only prophetic, but a catharsis for me at this point in my life.

I woke up with the song "Cry to Me" playing back over and over in my head.  Could it be because I just watched "Dirty Dancing" AGAIN?   What a pick me up.  I can't help but think,  how did they do that? every twist and turn on the dance floor.  Every time I see the movie, I have to get up and dance! 

Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray just glide on the dance floor. The movie will live on and on.  Every piece of music picked for the film ties perfectly into each scene, a work of  art for those sentimentalists that love  film and  50's music.

I took in "Up in the Air" today.  While I am probably the only woman in the world who isn't wooed by George Clooney,  I can't deny that he was a perfect fit for the movie.  The movie opened during the holidays and is still playing to packed theaters.  While I enjoyed it, it didn't rate as one of the best movies I've ever seen, but I certainly could relate to the plot, it definately makes one think.  Especially being out of a job, and relating to the scenerios depicted in the story line. 

While I am not an avid reader, I have a voracious appetite for film, and this one made me think. 

Crab Apple

 The beginning of the year has started out as a bang, but not a good one.  I have been unusually crabby.  Not a joy to be with, and have taken it out on those closest to me.   Hmmmm, wonder why?  If you have been following my blog, you understand why.

I am honestly at the point that I want to force gaity rather than impose anymore on friends and family.

Regarding the job front, someone suggested I start a paper route.  I can see myself up at 3 AM and bundling papers.  But hey, it's a job, right?

My mother once told me, "it's not what you were, but what you are today that counts."

Nobody cares how many advertising agencies I worked for, how many awards I have won in Real Estate and Marketing, or how many major shopping centers for which I was employed as Marketing Director.  It's what is happening right now that people will evaluate.

In that case, there isn't much to boast about.

But I can be happy for my friends' success stories.  Hearing all the holiday tales from family and friends does warm my heart.

As far as I'm concerned, I am calling the Paranormal team to exorcise me and the little black cloud following me around.

Fresh Starts...New Beginnings

My roomate and son, just got wonderful news for the New Year.  He was offered a new position in Engineering in Florida.  I am so proud and happy for him.  While the news wasn't my exact answer of a prayer, it brings me unbridled happiness to share in his success.

New Year's Eve was spent at the Rectory enjoying an indian dinner with our Pastor.  He is an indian priest, and we just adore him.  A brilliant man, he is never short on stimulating conversation and encouragement.  He is always researching other religions, and last night he shared his observations about the Koram.  While we are Catholics, it is always fun to understand other cultures and beliefs.

In between bites of scrumptious curried chicken and all the trimmings, the phone in the Rectory rang endlessly from family in India wishing him a happy New Year.  I had never heard him speaking his native language and enjoyed listening to the bantering of conversation and excitement in his voice.

We talked about Mother Theresa and how she visited his seminary while preparing for his priesthood.  Mother, never short on wisdom and encouragement, was always ready to serve others; sharing spiritual gifts connected with selfless living. I had always wished I had an audience with her, and I have always been in awe of  her life.

Today, the first day of this New Year, I am invited to one of Denver's most elegant hotel's for an early dinner with a close friend. 

I can hardly wait to turn the next page of 2010. While I can't look into the future, I am hoping it is better than 2009.

A New Year Begins

With that said, I wish the best for all of us in the coming year.  Through the ups and downs, we will prevail.  Because I am so convinced good things are coming, I will end my blog on this note.

My "Meditations" blog will continue as a general venue...Hope to hear your views on that forum.

In the meantime, the perfect job is waiting for you and I in  2010...Happy job hunting...

"We have received your application for the position of Marketing Manager-. Unfortunately at this point in time we are unable to place you in this position at this location"

Whew!  how many of these have you received? I don't know what your track record is, but I could decorate a wall with them.  Purists will tell you it is always best to go in person to deliver a resume.  That can also backfire and make one a pest.

So, the count down has begun.  The New Year is almost here.  I have also given myself a deadline of March to find "the job" or a "job."  At that time, I will call for a course adjustment.

Truth is, I would love to go back into Real Estate.  But Real Estate has start-up costs, big time.  The sphere of influence I had is history at this point.

They say life goes in cycles,  Iwait to see which way the tide will flow in 2010.  In the meantime:

 I will keep posted!

Desperate Times...Desperate Means

I just spoke to someone who is going to market medical marijuana.  According to this individual, it is "an effective way to generate income and fulfill a need."  I must admit, I would have never thought of that one.

But I suppose desperate times creates desperate means.  The government is still calling this a "recession,"  for my money, (or the lack of) I say it is a full-blown recession.  I can't remember a market like this in all my life.

I have been thinking about moving to other markets, like...maybe Alaska?  how many people could be looking for jobs there?  Or, how about Newfoundland?...I know people don't live there for the sun and fun.  Although the walruses and sea otters aren't complaining.

I wish I could be worrying about global warming instead.  It made great cocktail conversation.  As a baby boomer, I wasn't much on PLANNING.  I can remember my mother's friends always telling me as a young woman "put your money away!."  Me?  put money away?  Why, I was married to a very successful C.P.A., I felt it was a ridiculous suggestion at 35.  It doesn't sound so ridiculous today.

I could always take a "trip up the hill" to Blackhawk and try my luck.

 I am really not a gambling woman at heart.

MeetUp.Com

I am looking into MeetUp.Com.  It is a wonderful venue for meeting people with similar interests that has been established in every city in the U.S.

Orginally, I researched it for Real Estate, but there is every type of group available for every interest.

The thing that stands out to me at the moment is:  I have to keep my sense of humor about this.   While hard, through the ups and downs, I have to see the comedy in it all.

Perhaps the blog will serve as a rough draft for a book?  Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Thinking "outside the box" doesn't even begin to describe what I need to do to get this job done.

A White Christmas

It has been awhile since we've enjoyed a white Christmas.   I'm loving every minute of it.

What enjoyment I find in baking and cooking my favorite sweets,  marveling at the beautiful blanket of white everywhere!

The smell of gingerbread and chocolate envelope me with a warm, inviting smell; while my pine-scented Angel candles fill my living room.

During the summer, a neighbor and I watched squirrels gather branches, laboring up and down a plush, green tree outside my window while building a nest.  We patiently watched that production for over a hour, amazed at the intricacy of their work.

 I  look outside,  my eyes glance at the nest, it stands there today -the squirrels are nowhere in sight- icicles dangling from snow-covered branches. A stark contrast to the empty nest.

A noisy flock of birds signal their flight over head.  They form a perfect "A" formation as they pass.

Billy Bob Thornton's "Bad Santa" is on the flat screen and all is well within my world...

I'm at peace....at least for just today.

It's Almost Christmas..

I am sorry to say, that it is not very Merry.  I know that I am not alone in my thinking.  Many of us are struggling through the holidays.  How I hate to bring you down.  It becomes harder and harder to be happy when one does not have an income.

I have spent time reflecting on happiness.  Whoever said that happiness has nothing to do with money is not being completely honest.

 Okay, I have reflected on my spirituality, and I am "giving back" as best as one can that is in my position. My mother used to say that I had a penchant for "dragging every stray cat and dog home" as a child.  Not much has changed.  Oh, except now I am that stray cat or dog!

I have been told that life has cycles.  I think I have been through the presoak, wash, rinse and dry cycles.

Think I am ready for a change.  But the one thing that I do have is wonderful friends.  This is a constant in my life, and it is true that friendship is a cooling salve on a burning heart. It has soothed my wounds during tough times.

One of my other "bright spots"  in my life is my Great Pyrenees "Pepe",  he truly is the light of my life.  This morning I ran him through our knee-high snow and enjoyed the beauty of the crystals reflecting off the barren trees and rooftops.  It was untouched and fresh, as soft as a newborn babe.  The mountains looked like huge white chocolate ice-cream cones.  The sky is crystal-clear and bright blue this morning.

It reminds me of the light and brightness of Christmas. 

Once again:  Did I mention why I love living in Boulder? 

Back to Playing Roulette

Still more news on the unemployment front from "The Boulder Daily Camera."

The number of Coloradans with jobs rose by 6,300 in November.

State Job growth wasn't statewide, however. Labor statistics reflected Friday that the unadjusted unemployment rate rose in 52 counties, fell in seven and remained the same in five.

Boulder County was one of the 52 with rising unemployment

It's Christmas time, and I should be having fun, and sharing time with the family. Or figuring out what really killed Brittany Murphy.

I haven't got any shopping to do, no parties to attend, just concentrating on buckling down. How boring. There must be more to do than this.

Suppose I can go back to playing roulette with the remote control.


Ah, well "I won't think about it today, I'll think about it tommorrow.".

Reader Asks: Why Not an IT Job?

Thanks, but no thanks, Connie.  I think I rather be dead than work IT.  Seriously, I am about as far from an Information Technology Specialist as one could possibly imagine.

Yes, I understand that a need in my market must be filled, and it is wise to pursue the need in the market.  But remember what I said in one of my first posts about loving what you do?  This is as essential to me as the air I breathe.  It is not negotiable.

Stubborn as I am, I believe consistency is the key.  It always has been for me for the past 30 years.  Failure is not an option.

Job Heaven or Nightmare?

Living in Boulder is like living a dream.  Sunny days, snow-tipped mountains, you can almost reach out and touch them.  I have to pinch myself to believe I live in this paradise.  While the social life is fun, the town is artsy and upscale, it is not the most job friendly town for  marketing and public relations professionals.

Most of the open positions are for technical jobs, or those in the IT market.  So, couple that with the competition, living in a college market, and dealing with all the new graduates on the market each year, it makes it that much tougher to find gainful employment.

I do apply for positions in the Denver market, which is only about 25 miles from Boulder.  The commute is still a challenge, given our traffic and the snowy winters.  Even though our Colorado unemployment market (6.1%) is still better than the national average of 10%, I personally have not experienced any advantages.

Of course, Christmas and the holiday season is not the best time to find work, unless you are seeking a sales position part-time in retail.  However, all the temporary agencies have been contacted.  I have been through all the testing and endless paper work. I feel I have an advantage here, as I have my own health and dental coverage.  This is probably the best advantage I have over most other candidates.

I belong to the national and local Public Relations Society of America.  Just like every other organization or occupation, they offer their own job sites with which to research available positions.  This also is a big plus, but it is not a guarantee at landing a job.

That being said, I hope the New Year brings more promise.  At the very least, some more interviews.

Using the Media to Promote Yourself

I saw a very clever approach to promoting one's self utilizing the media.  A dog walker actually posted her name on a 14'x 48'  outdoor poster using her name and phone number.  I thought it was very clever, but questioned the cost efficiency.

Of course, in these times people are taking bold steps to find work.  The more outrageous, the better.  I spoke to previous colleague who was recently laid off .  She shared with me that she had been in the job market 4 months'  before she recently landed a job.  She set up a network of 125 employers that appealed to her.  Then, she registered with each site to email her job opportunities daily.  It was a 24 hour, 7 day effort, but it eventually paid off.

There are specific websites to look into if you are over 50: The AARP.org Job Search Engine powered by RetirementJobs.com is a free service that allows you to search for opportunities with thousands of employers nationwide. Workforce50 and JobsOver50.com are other internet resources.

Working at home is currently another popular option.  If you're a self-starter and working in your 'jammies is your style, there are business opportunities out there for virtual assistants, and data entry.

I'm making my list and checking it twice, in exploring what I am comfortable doing for work.  One constant is : Consistency is the key to my success. 

I remind myself of this daily as the stress of the holidays and many commitments begin to decend on me.

All I Want for Christmas..

There is one good thing about not working this time of the year.  The Holidays.  I am loving being able to loose myself in joy watching Animal Planet every day.  Heart-warming stories about wolves, learning about dogs on "Dogs 101."  Following my morning cup of coffee (or two, or three), I check my email and job sites for my 2 to 3 hour quiet time for allocated for job searching. 

I do feel it is an exercise in futility as I think of the hundreds of people applying for the same jobs.  Nevertheless, I carry on.  I recently read that many people have given up job searching and stopped completely.  I cannot afford that luxury. 

I have not been as diligent as I need to be.  I am affiliated with many professional clubs and organizations.  I should be networking at monthly meetings.  I am told this is one of the best ways to get an inside track on the job market.

I am not an ordinary job seeker.  While highly sociable, and can work equally well on my own or within a team, I have to work in an affable environment.  Corporate politics make me ill at ease.  I am not a confrontational person.  It takes quite a lot to get me upset. I choose to focus on tasks at hand and getting them done, rather that figuring out how to brown nose supervisors in the workplace.

Which leads me to an important observation about myself:  I need to interview my prospective employer jast as closely as they are interviewing me.

Most  think we have to interview perfectly, and hope our talents match the employer's needs.  While important, we need to find a compatible company with which to hang our hats.

I have had scores of jobs where once the honeymoon period is over, I found that the once exciting job is now being mircromanaged by panicky, unflexible managers.  Business is all bottom-line contribution in this market, true;  but what about emotional and practical support for new hires?  I don't know about you, but I have found this almost impossible to find in the workplace.

When I find my future job, I am going to ask the important questions:  How will my performance will be evaluated?  During the first three months of my evaluation, what kind of support can I expect?  Is there a "go-to" person I can approach for questions? Most employers expect one to "hit the ground running."  I believe we have to be realistic about those first three months' that we are being closely evaluated.  I plan to ask if there is any hands-on training during this period as far as company expectations in learning the corporate platforms.

I want to ensure that I am performing up to company expectations. I have also found that it is best to never over-estimate my capabilities, and tell my furture employer upfront what they can expect of me in the way of technical skills, and my approach to task and project management.

Now, back to navigating employment sites and exploring links, links and more links!

"If a Tree is Cut Down in the Forest"....

You know the old adage:  "If a tree is cut down in the forest and it falls and nobody hears it..."

This is how I am feeling about my blog.  Ah yes, it's marvelous to have a blog and be connected with the universe.  Did I say connected to the universe?  Wait a minute.  Let's see, will anybody find me?  Have I chosen the best blogging platform? 

I am now linked to Linkedin, Twitter, Facebook, Google and scores of other web sites.  This wonderful venue we call social media is not very different from any other marketing strategy or medium.  One must know how to navigate to be heard.  It's like that tree in the forest syndrome, if it falls and nobody hears it.

I am expecting an exciting journey. While I may go off course initially, I know that getting there will be educational and interesting.

As I amble along the internet highway, I am going to share with you what I learn.  I hope you can share with me too.

Who said "you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

Staying in the Game

I am new at this, but I have a lot to share with those over 50 in the job market. No, I'm not dead yet, and still have a pulse!


I have never been out of work for more than 4 months, but 2009 has not been good to me, as I still am one of the millions of people out of work. One month slowly drags on to the next. Oh, there are opportunities, but who can survive on $7 an hour? I know the daily line-up of television so well I can produce an audio version of TV Guide!


My background is in Mall Marketing and Real Estate; which I have worked on and off since 1978 beginning in Miami, Florida. So much has changed! It is a full time job to stay abreast of the all the marketing platforms for corporations. While everyone was getting their Certified Marketing Director designations, I was home mothering my two toddlers for much of the 1980's.

When I elected to go back to work, I was unable to find a job in Mall Marketing in Miami, Florida. I was offered an opportunity in a non-profit organization. Always believing furthering my education was essential to my profession, I got my Accreditation in Public Relations. Everything in Public Relations has also dramatically evolved with the advent of social media, Facebook, Twitter and God knows what else, it is an effort to stay on top of it all.


In June, 1991, I followed my sister out to Denver. Denver is a tough market in itself, where more people have PhD's, and generally have a higher education level per capita.


Finally, my bedtime partner is now "Excel 2007 for Dummies." The problem is, the "dummy" has to understand what he is reading to learn the program. Oh, and yes, one has to have the funding to attend a college class or be tutored.


When I took on my last job in Mall Marketing and Specialty Leasing, I was cautioned from the Regional Marketing Manager that "mall marketing is very different fom the way you remember it, it is now very aggressive and bottom-line oriented" What? no more flowery image advertising? No more casting calls and talent scouting for tabloid covers? No, just hard-core " 'sale' and ''new, low prices.."


I decided it might be time for a change. I went on to get my Real Estate license in 1999, and worked successfully in Real Estate until I separated from my husband in 2006. Real Estate is tentative at best, unless one has a large and loyal following. After 9/11 all that changed for me. My once successful track record dwindled to a closing every 4 months at best.


I have to love what I do to do an effective job. Why should it be any different? After all, we spend at least 8 to 14 hours with the same people in the same environment.


So, the question is, where do I go from here? I have always enjoyed writing and decided to start this blog as an opportunity for talented people, like you and I, to use this as a forum to share advice and tips for those in a similar situation.


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